10

Destroy thyself,

How then, 

the singular vague commandment twisting like bracken vines

two birds with one stone, maybe three, a flock 

by the end of the world, I will have you

on your side crazily rocking the rocking of a hundred geological chairs

ash and boulder -- where did i go wrong

How then,

slices of restrain, the cuts and scratches clawing deteriorate

drive this horrible rental off the side of my pristine path-paved mountain 

made entirely of powder, press them against your cheeks as 

there

the blood will stain the ballgowns gathered at the foot of my rocktower

How then, 

in my voicelessness, refusing to tremble before you, high and mighty

suffocating drowning in years lost to being closet-kept

unwilling, don't don't don't don't don't all the lives i cannot have

the answer kept gut-deep, bones rattling, with all the things I have been forced to swallow. 

what good does light if not in the darkness.

9: C'est notre maison

For years on end we have been immaterial,
Because years on end we have.
Infinity has never looked so small than when it is compared to beyond.
Unrelenting, we are light in perpetual motion
Breaking every barrier to break -
Bridges and buildings have no meaning in the long run.
We have stopped looking at the corners of our rooms;
For one should not go searching
For the dust they have shaken off decades ago.
Instead we turn to porcelain mugs and love -
Things that stay.
We find that hearts are harder to halt than matter.
And we'll find that
We can't stop.
And we won't stop.




CAN'T YOU SEE IT'S WE WHO OWN THE NIGHT
CAN'T YOU SEE IT WE WHO BOUT THAT LIFE

YEAEYEAH.

8: Distraught

Why:
Because you made me feel that, for once, I would not want to change anything at all in the world.


Just keep driving. Isang ikot pa.


Because for once, I felt sorry for all of the other me's in all of the other dimensions in all of the other timelines that night
because for once, 
it couldn't possibly have been any better.

Why not:
Because I am unsure if you think me special or just convenient.
Because I may just be some sick nicotine patch

and that you'll have me just because you can't have what is real.

7.1

on second thought, i take everything back
you have the propensity to be such an ass
and thank goodness i left

7: Bullets

in their cases on the shelves, collecting dust.
the gun is in the shop, in the woods, rusting blue.
everything unshot, or pre-shot, or clicking in the dusklight

• sometimes, i want to kiss you just to know what it's like to be kissed by someone who wants me that much
• i like you when you look at me like looking at me is enough, when your hands don't demand more.
• you were absolute in the midst of my abstraction. 

• i want you to place me on a counter top and love  me without words. 
• i want you to dip me in ink and love me entirely in letters. 
• i want you to take me to all the nowheres you are going. 
• i want you to sleep next to me and think that is as close as you'll ever need to be.
• i want you to hold me in the glass roots of your thoughts stolen only by your vapor dreams.
• i want you to know where i scribble my dotted-lines. 
• i want your lips to teach my throat what it feels like to be voiceless.
• i want you to think of me as grace, something you receive in faith, undeserved. 
• i want you to let me go.

• there are parts of you that you have forgotten;
• dismantle disarm disengage

6.63 x 10^(-34)

I think too much,
Almost as if it's going to change anything.

6

Gusto ko lamang sa buhay ay yakapin mo ako.

Don't be surprised when one day,
the adventures stop coming.
It's been a while since I've been alone with the cicadas;
And it's been a while since I've smoked.
Sure, yeah, yeah the world will keep on turning,
But this revolution seems a little more purposeless than the last.

It hurt when I found out
That I might be caring over nothing,
Because my immediate reaction to unbalances
Is to even them out.
So now I'm trying to care as less as you.
But it hurts to care less;
It hurts like I'm slowly sawing off a damn limb.
It's hurting to cut you off because
Frankly, you're already impossibly,
And embarrassingly
a part of me.

In the way that I let you get away with everything,
I let you get away with me.